The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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