woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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