He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
