I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
