Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just want nice things and good sex
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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