he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
