i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
third nipple confirmed
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
