You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Also, beer. Big fan.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
