my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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