I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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