am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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