If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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