Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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