Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
