well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
