i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
