Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
