seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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