he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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