We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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