Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
