it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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