call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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