I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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