it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
