spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
