And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if only i could text you this smell
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
