So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
