He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
