So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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