So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
