yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
