your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
