Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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