Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
