Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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