I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
