i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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