i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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