So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
