I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Pants are for mortals
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
