I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
