May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
