im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
