You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
