Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
