dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
