I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
