You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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