some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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