you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
only if we run a train.
done.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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