I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
