But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
