Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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