I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
